Laughable Nov 5^th

Well, maybe not laughable but at least worth a chuckle. You may remember the ill-fated lovers Ms. Gamrat and Mr. Courser This pair had been carrying on an adulterous affair while both were first-term Republicans in the Michigan legislature committed to tea party principles and strong family values. Naughtiness will out and these two had been very naughty; both were married, but not to each other so this affair between them was a serious no-no.  To make matters worse they shared an office and used state money to try to cover their sins. Courser even went so far as to plant an ad suggesting that he was gay and seeking a gay companion.

They were outed. Gamrat was kicked out of the legislature; Courser, learning much from Richard Nixon’s troubles, resigned before he could be voted out. Now, in a display of hutzpah unequalled in modern times, both of these miscreants ran to fill their own now vacant seats. The voters had enough of them and both lost big time. Gamrat, the blonde femme fatale, got about 9 percent of the vote for her old seat while Courser, the presumed seducer, managed just about 5 percent for his return. They will now probably set up a consulting firm designed to help other wayward legislators avoid similar problems.

Now on to the national scene: Dana Milbank in his column this morning pretends to apply for the job as moderator at the next Republican Presidential debate. He promises to follow all of their requirements most of which he lists in this very funny bit. Among the requirements he agrees to is, “Not to ask any candidate to raise his/her hand at any time.” In a primary debate for 2012 election I remember the contestants being asked to raise their hands if they thought that the earth was less than ten thousand years old. All but Ron Paul raised their hands and when Congressman Paul was asked about that, like any good politician, he salvaged his fundamentalist credentials by saying that he wasn’t sure. That fascinating byplay won’t happen again.

These candidates have some odd demands: among them is a requirement that they be allowed opening statements of at least 30 seconds each and to allow candidates unlimited time to rebut one another whenever their names are mentioned. These people are serious about this. Can you imagine giving any politician, and they are all politicians even if they’ve never been elected to anything, an unlimited amount of time to speak? If they were unhappy about the length of the first debate just wait; they’ll probably wish that the monitors had furnished cots and sleeping bags…or at least strong coffee.

One effect of this curious list of requirements is sure to be watcher apathy. It is hard to imagine even Fox News carrying this farce or even commenting on it.