2017 May 25^th

It isn’t that there is nothing political to write about; there is more than enough, what with Republican candidates, Trump style, beating up journalists. That situation will only get more interesting by tomorrow when Montana’s votes are counted. Today I have a couple of other issues, tomorrow I’ll do politics. Here is a piece from “More of the Same;” I hope you enjoy it.

Bling Bling

Bling is a recent addition to the dictionary; it comes from the hip-hop culture and it means an ostentatious display of wealth, usually jewelry. Shiny stuff has always had an attraction for people, and not just hip-hop artists. It’s even had an attraction for so-called primitive people. You may remember the purchase of Manhattan Island from the Indians for twenty-four dollars worth of beads and trinkets. Shiny glass beads have often had value to people we consider primitive. We civilized folks are more attracted to pieces of carbon called diamonds. They are much shinier, especially when they are cut with the proper number of facets. I doubt that there is much call for uncut diamond rings. There would be very little sparkle in them…and we do love our sparkle. Ordinary wrist watches, now encrusted with cut diamonds, are expensive enough to be advertised as heirlooms, but are no better at telling time for all their bling. There are even diamond stud ear posts too—his and hers.

It seems to me that humankind finds much merit in shiny things I believe it is built into our genetic history. You can buy polished chrome plated wheels for your new car, or indeed for your old car if you choose to “dress it up.” This could cost you hundreds of dollars depending on the plating process you want. A new Buick with chrome plated wheels adds six hundred and fifty dollars to your tab. The stock wheels are just as round. Some vehicles come with chrome plated radiator grills. These may now be more common than chrome plated bumpers. The old hot rods had engine parts that were heavily chromed. The owners were so proud of the bling that they often removed the car’s hood to make the engine visible. Of course none of this can be allowed to get dirty. Car washes everywhere are prosperous. A car must be gleaming all over…and all the time.

I am surprised that no one has thought to add chrome plating to houses. A nicely plated front door and window trim would add an interesting touch. Inside the house gleaming stainless steel is the vogue; the refrigerator, the stove, the sink, and all the appliances are stainless steel. Tall buildings are curtained in glass and stainless steel. They are said to be more energy efficient; they are certainly shiny.

Maybe this has something to do with cleanliness, which, as we all know, is next to godliness, and consequently a very good thing. It is the clean car that shines, the clean silverware that sparkles, as do our teeth, recently cleaned at no little expense by our dentist. It is certainly true that dusty, dirty, things do not reflect light very well and that brightness, or reflection, is what bling is all about. But is it possible that we have these things backwards? Maybe we value cleanliness because clean things gleam and shine rather than valuing gleaming things because they are clean.

Our vocabulary reflects our values. Employers want to hire bright college graduates. When did bright become a synonym for intelligent? It has. Why are the less intelligent described as dullards? We favor people with bright, sunny, dispositions. We avoid people with dark, gloomy outlooks. Our craving for bling even affects how we describe people and how we describe the weather.

The desire for shiny stuff seems universal among humans. Is there any evidence that it has value in the animal kingdom? Yes indeed.  Other primates and raccoons are strongly attracted to shiny objects. If you want to attract jays, crows or ravens, scatter shiny safety pins and bits of broken mirror about. One story, for which there is photographic evidence, describes starlings stealing quarters from a car-wash. The car wash owner was missing money and had accused the installer of giving the key to the cash box to an employee. A camera was set up to catch the thief. It was a starling, actually several starlings, which went into the coin box and were shown exiting with as many as three quarters in their mouths. The coins were traced to the roof of the wash where there were starling nests. The shiny coins attracted the male starlings’ attention and they retrieved them from the coin box to court female starlings. I’m sure some astute reader will see a parallel here. For myself, I have invested in several pairs of polarizing sunglasses.