Dec 25^th

We’ll start today with the conservatively correct greeting, “Merry Christmas.” As you know the current crop of Republican candidates are using political correctness as a target for all things evil. This brings me to consider just what constitutes the conservatively correct position on a variety of issues. Conservatively correct is clearly the opposite of politically correct.

The conservatively correct couple consists of a male and female and they are married. They have two or three children, certainly no more than four. The children are home schooled. Home schooling is so important because it eliminates several problems: The first is any concern about the requirement that the children be vaccinated. The conservatively correct parent knows  that vaccinations are not 100 percent effective and may cause all manner of brain damage because of the preservatives, specifically mercury, in the vaccines. Home schooling eliminates that concern as vaccinations are not required.

Then there is the matter of teaching American history; some history texts put undue emphasis on slavery as a cause of the southern states seceding from the union. Conservatives know that slavery was a very minor consideration. No need for young people to actually read the various states reasons of secession and find out otherwise. The home school parent can control this as well as other outrageous writings, for example fictions about President Reagan’s providing arms to the Nicaraguan contras. Parents’ homeschooling their children can protect them from these biased historical accounts. (American History books approved for use in Texas are worth considering because they are properly screened.)

Of course once the children begin seventh and eighth grade math, mother, if she is the teacher, may have a problem if she has not learned the difference between square root and square feet. Of course those pesky word problems can also be very tricky. A charter high school will probably be available, one that has a good conservative reputation and of course there are lots of colleges with deeply conservative principles. Biola University comes immediately to mind. Its name was once The Bible College of Los Angeles. A student discussion group once focused on the issue of whether one could be a Democrat and a Christian. Senator John Thune of South Dakota is a graduate of this fine university where every graduate is required to have the credit hour equivalent of a minor in Bible.

Church attendance is expected of the whole politically correct family every week. The children will participate in the children’s choir and will attend Bible school in the summer months, although the teacher of this class should be carefully screened; liberals are occasionally known to be Christian and active church goers.

Certainly other aspects of one’s politically correct lifestyle must also be considered. The family automobile should be American made and certainly not a hybrid electrical vehicle. No solar panels should appear on the house, The National Review and The Wall Street Journal should appear in the mailbox while the TV set is never allowed on while young children are up but is tuned to Fox News later in the evening; Bill O’Reilly’s program is never to be missed. The Limbaugh brother’s radio programs help mother through her morning chores, although they do raise her blood pressure. The family library has all of Ann Coulter’s books and her famous quotes are framed and hung in the den.

It is clear that not all of the Republican presidential candidates fit this conservatively correct ideal. Mr. Trump’s characterization of the sacrament as his “little cracker” and “little glass of wine” should immediately disqualify him as a properly conservatively correct person. Some blemishes are not repairable, but no matter, he seems to be the favorite of the politically correct set anyway. It’s probably the haircut.