2017 Jan 13^th

I am reasonably accustomed to politically incorrect language. I was in the Army Air Force toward the end of the Second World War and we did have some marching songs that would not have been acceptable for a church school marching band. One very popular number begins, “This is number one and the fun has just begun, roll me over lay me down and do it again…” The “it” here does not refer to doing crossword puzzles on the lawn.

 Unacceptable language has been an issue for years. George Carlin, a famous comedian, had a bit about the seven words you cannot say on television. Of course he said them and promptly got himself arrested. He then gave each word a number so that if you stubbed your toe you could say, “Oh, 3,” instead of saying, “Oh ####,” and then having to pay an exorbitant fine. It never caught on; saying, “Oh 3,” and saying, “Oh ####,” are not equally satisfying if you stub your toe.

Things have changed from what had been acceptable 25 years ago. You can’t advertise cigarettes now. No more, “Lucky Strike has gone to war!” You can advertise beer and wine but not whiskey. You can’t advertise guns; no “This little number will blow away the bad guys.” You can, however, advertise products that help you quit smoking even if a side effect is death. Well. That’s one way to quit.

There are drugs available only by prescription that “Will make you ready anytime.” We all know what the pills will make you ready for; just don’t take too many of them at one time. They reduce blood pressure and there are limits as to how much reduction anyone can survive. These are primarily marketed to the golfing set but are also consumed heavily by the college set.

A special potion is available for the colitis sufferer; it, too, is only available by prescription. The ad shows a young woman in a freeze-framed crowd rushing to the women’s room; then later joining friends for a relaxed lunch. The potion has now worked its magic.

Another young woman is suffering from an overactive bladder. The bladder is personified by a cartoonish red bag with large soulful eyes that keeps dragging this poor person off to the rest room at inappropriate times. Then she consults her doctor while the red bag cartoon symbolizing her bladder looks very anxiously up at the doctor. Finally, the woman has gained control of her bladder and it sits docilely by while she meets with her friends. The rascal has at long last been tamed thanks to chemistry.

It’s interesting that the colitis and the bladder sufferer pictured are both women clearly in their thirties. Apparently, older women just don’t have these ailments. As to the erectile dysfunction drugs, usually a couple is shown and they seem to have recently benefited from the pill’s effects.